Coda
by LuxKen27
Summary: If it came down to a choice between his life and hers...there simply was no choice. Twoshot; alternate ending to the manga. Rated for dark themes.
1. Bitter

Title: Coda - Bitter

Author: LuxKen27

Universe: Canon (Chapter 552)

Genre: Angst/Psychological/Suspense

Rating: Y

Warnings: Character death, dark themes, language

Word Length: 2103

Summary: If it came down to a choice between his life and hers...there simply was no choice.

_Disclaimer: The _Inuyasha_ concept, storyline, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media_

"_Inside the Fire" © 2008 Disturbed_

.xxxxx.

"_The wish I made on the jewel…was the wish of the jewel itself." – Naraku's parting words, Chapter 552_

.xxxxx.

It was only flashes of memory; when he looked back on that moment, the moment his life forever changed, he could never completely remember what happened. There was a sparkle of purity as the jewel was pierced, as Naraku's body was pulverized by the force of the arrow. A fleeting wisp of relief, a surge of horror as the meidou yawned open, pulling her beyond his reach. The look of abject fear in her eyes, of despair as she disappeared into the void.

Then the ground rose up to meet him, and all went black.

.xxxxx.

Weight.

He cracked open his eyes, pushing hard against the heavy mass that had settled on his chest, rendering him immobile. He had this urge to struggle, and for a moment it was lost on him, why he had to fight. It would be so easy to stop…

…relax…

…breathe deeply….

…but something told him to continue.

_Kagome_.

His heart seized in his chest as the memory returned. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to forget the horror he'd glimpsed on her face before she disappeared. It was an expression he had hoped to never see cross her lovely features again, not after everything she'd been through this last year. He'd caused her such suffering and misery, and never again did he wish to see her unhappy.

Maniacal laughter rose in his ears. His eyes opened once more, surveying the darkness all around him. There was nothing, no point of reference, no feeling of solid mass below him, above him, around him at all. There was only pressure fixed on his chest, bearing down on him, making it hard to breathe.

And laughter. Endless, screaming, guilt-inducing laughter.

"Who are you?" he managed to choke out between deep gasps of air. "What have you done with Kagome?"

There was no response, save the laughter. Malicious, horrible laughter.

"You won't defeat me, Naraku!" he grunted, clenching his hands into fists. He felt the hilt of Tessaiga, still warm in his grip. Slowly, valiantly, he lifted the sword; it was heavier than it had ever been, even after it was repaired using his own fang. He turned his head slightly to the right, opening his eyes as wide as possible.

He could not see the blade.

His stomach knotted. _Am I blind?_ he wondered recklessly. _Is that why I can't see who's laughing at me?_

He twisted the hilt in his hand, feeling the pressure of the blade as it moved. A glint of light penetrated his vision, and he blinked.

Once.

Twice.

No, he wasn't blind. _Thank God_, he thought, relief washing through him. He could see the head of the sword, where blade met hilt, the place joined by youki-fur. _That means…black Tessaiga. I had to use meidou zangetshuha._

"Hell."

The laughter had stopped; a deep, penetrating voice confirmed his murky thoughts.

"Yes, hanyou, you are in hell."

The statement resonated in his ears as the pressure strengthened against his chest. It sharpened into a fine point, directed at his sternum. Breathing came easier now. He reached up, finding the movement of his limbs lighter, more natural. He grasped at the point of pressure, half-expecting to find a purifying arrow.

Like one that had sealed him all those years before.

He grasped air, his fist closing, claws meeting flesh.

"Where's Kagome?" he demanded, his grip on Tessaiga tensing. "Tell me what you've done to her!"

"She is not here."

He growled, a rumble deep in his chest, pierced by the pain of the pressure on his breast.

"She is dead."

"NO!" he roared, his voice shooting through his throat, erupting from his mouth like lava flow. He heaved a deep breath, ragged to his ears, trying to keep his heart from joining his screams of sorrow.

"I don't believe you!" he yelled, panic fraying his words. "She's _not_ dead, she _can't be dead_!"

His heart was pounding so hard, so fast, he knew it would burst right out of his chest.

He roared again, gripping Tessaiga with both hands, swiping mercilessly at the air above him. The pressure on his chest dissipated and he sat up, momentarily light-headed as he gained his bearings. Within seconds he was on his feet, Tessaiga in front of him, gleaming as it turned from black to red.

Again, he cut the air in front of him. Over and over he sliced, determined to get out of this void, to get to her before it was too late.

It was all for naught.

No matter what he did…

…no matter how hard he fought…

…nothing happened.

He stopped, breathing heavily, his ears flat against his skull, his grip firm on his sword.

"Show yourself, dammit! Is this Naraku? Is _this_ your final wish, you cold-hearted son of a bitch?"

The question echoed, fading into darkness.

The only sound was that of his breathing, his heart pounding, the blood rushing through his veins.

"You will not defeat me! I will _never_ believe she's dead, I will _never_ give up hope of finding her!"

The laughter started again, punctuated by the deep, pitiless voice. "I am not Naraku. That foul half-breed served his purpose, and was rightfully disposed of."

A vision seared his eyes: the pure Shikon no Tama shone brightly against the dark nothingness of the void. It was whole, perfect, glowing pale pink…then it changed. Something akin to oil was poured over the surface, devouring the pale light, suffocating the purity of the jewel. It became opaque, only the bare outline visible.

"I am the darkness of the jewel," the voice announced. The outline began to pulse with life as the words resonated through the void.

"I don't give a fuck," he cried, slashing at the jewel with the ever-changing blade of his sword. "Give me Kagome!"

"She is dead."

Anger, frustration, helplessness boiled just beneath his surface. Emotions thrummed through him, eating away at his sanity, at his control. "No," he argued through clenched teeth.

"She is human. She cannot survive here."

"_NO_!" he raged, lifting his arms to swing his sword, feeling himself being thrust forward toward the jewel.

It laughed at his struggle. "She is just another lost soul about to be mine again," it taunted him. "Leave her. We will receive her. It is beyond your control, if you ever meet again."

"I'll never give up! As long as I draw breath, I will fight for her!"

It was his vow, it was his mantra.

He would survive this.

He would find her.

He would never let her go.

"You wish to save her soul?"

The question caught him off-guard. He couldn't reply, simply dumbstruck at the about-face.

Another vision appeared before him. Surrounded in blue light, Kagome was quite still, as if suspended in animation. She did not move, did not breathe as she lay there. Her hands still gripped her longbow, her memento from Kikyo, her ultimate weapon.

She lay in repose, as if she was merely sleeping.

"You wish to save her soul?" the voice repeated.

"Kagome!" he cried, reaching out for her. His hand landed, gripping her wrist.

Panic and fear flooded through him.

She was cold.

She was so, so cold.

Her warmth, her vitality…it was gone.

She lay lifeless before him, her features drawn in innocence. She felt no pain, no fear, no horror.

She felt nothing.

He felt everything.

It was all too much to bear. Everything rose up inside him, overwhelming him. Emotions, feelings, thoughts, actions he had no words for, things he'd never felt before, things that had plagued him all his life. Everything converged in his head, bathing his vision in red, making him hot, cold, clammy, acrid all at once.

_Ultimate failure._

He embraced her cold, dead body, dragging her against him, letting the sleeves of his haori engulf every visible part of her. He loved her so fiercely, and yet had failed her so completely. He couldn't protect her, in life or in death. She had been stolen from him, cut down in her prime.

Sobs welled up within him. He cried silently, tears streaking down his face, his body trembling violently as the ache of loss tore through him. She was unmoving, unyielding in his arms.

What he wouldn't give to breathe life back into her body…

What he wouldn't sacrifice to have her whole again…

"You're just another lost soul about to be mine again. You'll never free her…you must surrender it all if you'd like to meet again."

The haunting words of the voice penetrated his lamentations. Through a film of tears, he glanced up, struck with slight awe as the jewel pulsated in front of him.

"Give your soul to me, for eternity. Release your life and begin another time with her," it commanded.

The words wrapped around him as he held her.

"End your grief with me. There's no other way. Release your life and take your place inside the fire with her."

"What are you saying?" he whispered, clutching her close.

"Give your soul to me. Take your place inside the fire." The voice was pertinent, mesmerizing.

The words struck deep in his heart. "She will live again?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"Give your soul to me, for eternity. Release your life, and begin another time with her."

_Another time with her._ Another chance to get it all right.

"You must surrender it all if you'd like to meet again."

Another time, another place. Was he willing to risk it all?

"Release your life and take your place inside the fire with her."

Suddenly, her body was engulfed in flames, even as she lay pressed to his chest. She coiled into a ball, releasing horrible screams of fear, of pain, of dying hysteria. She thrashed against him, her anguish and torment palpable.

He did not let her go. He held her even more tightly, wishing for her to stop, to be lifeless once more, free from this agony. Each shriek of terror tore through him, reminding him with ever-growing force that he was powerless to comfort her.

"Release your life. Take her place inside the fire, hanyou."

It laughed.

"_Save her_, if that is your fervent wish."

Wish…upon the Shikon no Tama…

He could wish to save her soul.

Watching her suffer like this made him feel like he was dying inside. How much more could he take?

"Give your soul to me. Release your life. End your grief with me."

The words bore down on him, repeating in a seductive tone, moving in and out of his ears, swirling around him.

"Kagome," he muttered, raising his hand to stroke her cheek softly. She was quiet again, her body exhausted from her screams, lying listlessly in his arms once more. "I'd do anything for you."

"There's no other way. Give your soul to me, for eternity."

He pressed her close, squeezing her as hard as he could, trying to imbue her with his love, his devotion, his heart, his soul. Once upon a time, he'd wanted nothing more than a return of this embrace, a reciprocation of his feelings and actions.

Things were different now. If it came down to a choice between his life and hers…

…there simply was no choice.

"I'll do it."

The solemn vow was quiet, even to his own ears, barely audible below the chorus of commands that he'd just agreed to.

The world was silent for one eerie, solitary moment, and then…

…and then…

…it was the end.

He was expelled from the void, hurtling through space faster than he ever imagined possible. Dark became light, and he collided with another body.

Yet it was not enough to stop his momentum.

He cracked his eyes open, finding himself staring at the green portion of Kagome's uniform top, his head lolling in the crook of her shoulder. They were moving so hard, so fast, that he almost couldn't make out her voice.

Almost.

"Inuyasha!" she cried, her arms sweeping over him. He glanced down, watching with dumbstruck fascination, wondering why he didn't feel her movements against him. He tried to respond, but his body betrayed him. His throat wouldn't move, his hands wouldn't move, his head wouldn't move.

He could only stare.

Faintly, he became aware of the incredibly acute angle of his vision.

Dimly, he realized what was going on.

Inwardly, he screamed as they burst out of the meidou, her very warm, very much alive arms wrapped around his broken, lifeless body.


	2. Coda

Title: Coda

Author: LuxKen27

Universe: Canon (Chapter 552)

Genre: Angst/Psychological/Suspense

Rating: Y

Warnings: Character death, dark themes, language

Word Length: 1929

Summary: If this dream was the only way she could be with him...she would gladly suffer for the rest of her days.

_Disclaimer: The _Inuyasha_ concept, storyline, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media_

"_You Could Be Happy" © 2006 Snow Patrol_

.xxxxx.

_._

_You could be happy and I won't know_

_._

It was only flashes of memory; when she looked back on that moment, the moment her life forever changed, she could never completely remember what happened. There was darkness, all-consuming darkness, followed by blinding light. There was her fervent wish to see him once again, and suddenly he was in her arms, hurtling through time and space.

But something was wrong – terribly, _terribly_ wrong.

_._

_But you weren't happy the day I watched you go_

_._

"Mama!" she wailed, launching herself into her mother's relieved embrace. She clung to her like an anchor, emotions welling up, spilling over, raging far beyond her control. She cried as she had never cried before, grief and sadness, relief and happiness, everything intertwined into an overwhelming mass.

"Kagome, we were so worried," her mother whispered as she stroked her hair softly, lovingly. "When the well disappeared…and you had never returned…" She choked on her words.

"Mama!" That was all she could sob.

Thoughts raced through her mind. _Inuyasha – could he really be – ?_

_No. He brought me back here. He protected me._

She raised her head from her mother's shoulder, glancing at the well.

Its blue magic yawned open, engulfing him, pulling him beyond her reach.

"Inuyasha!" she screamed, falling where she stood, her mother's arms still tight around her. "No!"

_._

_It's played in loops till its madness in my head_

_._

To sleep, perchance to dream.

She had crawled into her bed that night and curled up into a ball. Her tears had not yet stopped, but her mind was blissfully blank. She could escape into sleep; leave behind the exhaustion and confusion that had filled her, since that horrible moment of return.

She slept for days.

Her trauma was obvious to them all.

Her mother quietly worried, her grandfather secretly wondered. What had happened to her during that missing period?

_._

_Is it too late to remind you how we were_

_._

In her dreams…

…she saw them again, and she was so happy.

It was as if nothing had changed, as if it was another normal trip down the well. Miroku and Sango, Shippo and Kirara were all there, greeting her with smiles and hugs. Miroku's welcoming embrace was somewhat inappropriate, and he received the deserved slap in response from Sango. Shippo begged her for candy, and she had to dig into the depths of her bag to find it for him.

Always happy to see her friends, and yet something tugged at her heart. She had no words for it, but something was missing from this joyous scene…

…something…

…or someone.

_Inuyasha._

Her heart seized in her chest as the memory returned.

_._

_Not our last days of silent, screaming blur_

_._

The dream became a nightmare.

She was trapped in a void. A huge, black, bottomless void. The only sound she could hear was her heart thumping in her chest, her breath rasping in her lungs.

How long had she been here? There was no way of knowing. The smiling faces of her friends faded into a distant memory. All that was before her now was darkness and despair.

"Make a wish," the voice commanded her. "Wish upon this Shikon no Tama!"

_No_. She felt the word blooming in her heart. _No, I will never wish upon you! It's a trap!_ She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

She had to be strong, if she wanted to survive this.

If she wanted to see Inuyasha again.

"Choose your wish, little girl!" the voice commanded. It rang in her ears, pulsing through her head in dangerous waves.

She hated being called 'little girl'. It was so degrading, so humiliating. As if everything she had experienced in the last year hadn't changed her, forced her to grow up and contemplate serious notions: of life, of death, of love, of hate.

She pressed her lips in a firm line and remained silent.

"You choose this darkness and despair for all eternity?"

The question caught her off-guard. She couldn't reply, simply dumbstruck at the about-face.

"If you make no wish, you will remain here for eternity. You will never see your family or your friends again." Laughter punctuated the statement, the jewel finding great glee in her predicament.

_No_, she told herself. _It's a lie, it's all lies!_ Her lips trembled, but still she said nothing.

The laughter continued as she held firm her position. For as long as she lived, she would never forget the horrible sound of it, thrumming through her very soul at her darkest, weakest moment.

Tears pierced the backs of her eyes. _Inuyasha_, she thought, hopelessness overwhelming her. _I want to be with you._

The world was silent for one eerie, solitary moment, and then…

…and then…

…she burst from the darkness with terrifying speed, thrust upward as if being expelled from a volcano. Something slammed into her body, only accelerating her momentum.

"Inuyasha!" she cried, her arms sweeping over him. She squeezed her eyes shut as she held him, clinging to him as if there was no tomorrow. Relief washed over her, and silently, she wondered: _Could the jewel really have granted my wish?_

_Could I have been wrong all along?_

"Inuyasha," she said, opening her eyes and glancing down, where his head rested on her shoulder. "I can't believe…"

Her words trailed off as she saw it.

The trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth.

The glassy stare of his eyes.

The absolute stillness of his limbs.

"NO!" She awoke with a start, bolting upright, her breath heavy, her stomach churning. She stared into the dim light of her room as the sun faded below the horizon.

Still, the images were clear in her mind.

"No!" she shouted again, hitting her temples with the heels of her hands. Tears poured down her face. Her head felt like it was going to split open. Her eyes ached from crying.

Faintly, she heard the rush of the door opening, felt the light weight of her mother's arms settling around her shoulders. She ceased her movements, curling her fingers into her hair and letting her head sink to her knees.

_._

_You could be happy – I hope you are_

_._

Days turned into weeks.

Weeks turned into months.

The nightmare was recurring.

No matter what she did, she couldn't escape it. Every night when she laid her head upon her pillow, she knew she would have those visions again.

It consumed her.

She missed the first term of high school. Thankfully, her grandfather had the foresight to obtain a medical excuse for her…mononucleosis, she believed. Whatever it was, it didn't matter.

What mattered was figuring out the truth of what had happened to her, and to Inuyasha. It was the only way she would ever be able to move beyond this point, to gain comfort or closure.

One day – she didn't know when, or how long it had been since her return – she found herself in the depths of one of the store rooms on the shrine grounds, digging through ancient scrolls. She was convinced that the story of their quest would be there, in some form or fashion.

She looked at everything, going over it with a fine-toothed comb.

Nothing.

Frustrated tears welled up behind her eyes as she sat there, in the piles of dust and rotting papers.

"How could it be," she muttered, pushing the papers aside, "that our quest wasn't recorded? We visited so many villages, helped so many people…"

How could it be, that what had consumed over a year of her life was not important enough to be remembered?

She kicked a pebble across the courtyard as she emerged from the store room, her shoulders slumped. She watched as the stone landed at the base of Goshinboku, and felt her eyes being drawn up its trunk.

They landed on the bare spot of the tree, where Inuyasha had spent fifty years pinned to its surface.

She approached it, climbing over the small fence that enclosed it, her eyes focused on that spot.

Slowly, reverently, she laid her hand there, her touch as whisper-soft as the day she first met him.

"Why did you die, Inuyasha?" she asked in a hushed whisper. "Why did you leave me?"

_._

_For the tiniest moment it's all not true_

_._

She looked everywhere for an answer to her query. She searched the grounds of their shrine, looking in every nook and cranny for a forgotten scrap of paper or clue. She spent hours at the library, reading dry, dusty tomes of Japanese history and mythology, searching for a reference to her or him or their epic quest.

Each time, she came away empty-handed. History, it appeared, had passed her by, offering her no explanations for the strange turn of events that marred her life.

The only thing that was different was her dream. After months of daily recurrence, she was no longer afraid of it, of the darkness and despair of the void, of seeing Inuyasha's lifeless body at the end. In some strange way, she began to look forward to having it.

If this dream was the only way she could be with him…

…she would gladly suffer for the rest of her days.

_._

_Most of what I remember makes me sure_

_._

She was trapped in a void. A huge, black, bottomless void.

"Make a wish," the voice commanded her. "Wish upon this Shikon no Tama!"

Thoughts raced through her mind. She knew what was going to happen, but was powerless to stop this endless loop of events. She felt her body coil, her eyes shut, her teeth clench. Determination held force over her emotions as she struggled to keep her mouth closed, her thoughts silent.

"If you make no wish, you will be here for eternity. You will never see your family or your friends again."

Tears pierced the backs of her eyes. _Inuyasha_, she thought, hopelessness overwhelming her. _I want to be with you._

The world was silent for one eerie, solitary moment, and then…

…and then…

…she held him again, relief flooding through her as she spread her arms across his back. They were hurtling upward through time and space, and she knew she wouldn't have much time.

The dream was almost over.

"Why, Inuyasha?" she asked, brushing her fingers through his hair.

Surprise coursed through her veins as she felt a rumble of laughter in his chest. She looked down, shocked to see him looking back at her, a small smile creasing his lips.

"I'd do anything for you," he replied.

She couldn't breathe.

She could only stare at him in utter disbelief.

She felt his hand caress the back of her neck, his claws twining through her hair. "Do all the things that you always wanted to," he whispered.

"Inuyasha," she choked out. "I want to be with _you_." She brought him close, pressing her head to his chest.

There was no heartbeat.

His fingers moved softly across her jaw, lifting her chin, their eyes meeting. "Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do."

Tears crept from the corners of her eyes as she looked at him, as calm and peaceful as he had ever been.

The pads of his thumbs brushed her tears away, and he smiled at her again, light crowning his silver hair as they reached the summit, the end.

"More than anything I want to see you, girl, take a glorious bite out of the whole world."


End file.
